Pull a Chair Up to Our “Communication Tips” Campfire…

May 1, 2013 by Leave a Comment

mitch jackson“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.”–

Mark Twain

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Why This Community?

One reason I invited you to pull your chair closer to the crackling campfire is because I’m passionate about the art of communication. With your permission, I’d like to show you some communication tips I have learned over the past 27 years as a trial lawyer that have worked really well for me and should work for you too. I invite you to join our community and share stories, ideas and memories.

So what’s next? How do we stay connected?

The answer to both questions is easy. It’s called Kamiwaza (read Seth Godin’s new book “The Icarus Deception” to find out what this means). The way I see if, if I live up to my promise and you find value in my efforts, then we’ll stay connected. Connect via my email newsletter, my blog’s RSS feed or simply pull up a chair using your favorite social media platform. Whatever works for you works for me

Tip- you do need to know that everyone once in awhile I share exclusive content only with my email newsletter list so don’t get mad at me if you’re not on the list and miss an article, video or podcast that everyone else is talking about (hint- probably best to get my newsletter).

Filed Under: Connecting, Inspiration, Interviews, Newsletter, Persuasion, Sales, Story Telling, Using Technology, Videos, Visual, Voice Tagged With: , , , , ,

DON’T BE A TWO FACED COMMUNICATOR- It’s Always Game On Even After The Spotlight is Turned Off!

May 20, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Do not be a two faced communicatorThe Emotional and Short Sighted Lawyer

I just watched a very good lawyer deliver a persuasive and memorable closing argument. You could tell by watching the jury that they were moved by what he had to say. I only caught the last part of the trial but it looked like he had brought the case home for his client.

I left the courtroom and took a seat outside the hallway. Shortly thereafter, jurors began to exit the courtroom for their lunch break. Some walked past me and others took a seat on one of the many benches that lined the courthouse hallway.

The brilliant attorney who I watched eventually exited the courtroom and as he walked by with his client, I could hear him dropping the “F Bomb” in almost every other word. So could the jurors who were sitting next to me. His client was laughing. It wasn’t professional and it wasn’t smart.

What I heard totally changed how I felt about him. Same for his client. By the time the elevator doors closed, I thought both he and his client were a couple of assholes. The chances are good that the jurors sitting by me shared similar feelings. I read in the paper that the jury came back with a verdict a few days later against this lawyer and his client. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of them chatted about what they heard during deliberations.

The Self Absorbed Author and Professional Speaker

Some time ago I attended an afternoon event and listened to an extremely well known author and speaker deliver his presentation. He rocked the stage talking about success in business and life.

I always enjoy watching the reactions of others at these events and everyone in the audience was pumped with confidence and enthusiasm. This speaker’s message had hit home and the audience absorbed every single word like a big sponge soaking up a puddle of water.

But here’s the thing. After the event I watched this person’s demeanor change from Superman to a tiny mouse. He scampered back and forth across the stage grabbing his laptop and then scurried out of the room avoiding eye contact with others. I watched him leave the conference facility walking in a hurried pace and in a sheepishly fashion avoiding others. The body language he displayed just wasn’t congruent with his message. I’m a bit embarrassed to admit that I left that afternoon feeling a bit different about this person.

Here’s the Lesson…

I don’t think either of these professionals intended to act the way they did. They just weren’t thinking. But as a result, they came across as a bit two faced.

When communicating your message in court, from a stage, or in front of a small group of people, remember that when the spotlight is turned off, people are still watching. What you do and how you act after your presentation can be just as important, if not more important, than what you said to a jury of 12 or audience of 1,500 people.


Filed Under: Connecting, Inspiration, Newsletter, Persuasion, Sales, Story Telling, Using Technology, Visual, Voice Tagged With:

“Social Gathering”

May 14, 2013 by Leave a Comment

When you communicate, are you building trust? Are you building rapport with your audience? Is the process all about you or, is it truly a social gathering that everyone wants to be a part of?

Trial lawyer Karen Koehler is known as “The Velvet Hammer” and happens to be one of the top trial lawyers in the country. She’s Washington State’s past Trial Lawyer of the Year and also past President of the Washington State Trial Lawyers Association.

During my Spreecast with Karen (see video below), Karen shares some tips on how to pick a jury. She refers to the process as a “social gathering”. She bonds with the people on her jury. She develops rapport. Most of all, she builds trust.

Regardless of what you do for a living, I think Karen’s approach to jury selection will work for you too. Making a sales pitch to a small group? Then use these techniques. Giving a presentation to a large audience? Why not do what Karen would do and turn the process in to a social gathering.

I hope you enjoy my Spreecast with Karen as much as I did…

 


Filed Under: Connecting, Interviews, Persuasion, Sales, Videos Tagged With: , , ,

Happy Mother’s Day! What this trial lawyer’s mom taught me about the communication process

May 13, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Collett Jackson on NewsweekMy mom didn’t have a college education and she wasn’t a professional speaker. She did once write a cookbook sharing recipes of popular Saddle and Surrey Guest Ranch dishes (the ranch I grew up on) but she gave out more copies then she sold. She also did some modeling and this is her on the cover of Newsweek Magazine in 1956.

Despite the lack of formal education and presentation experience, my mom was one of the best communicators I’ve ever been around. She was a people person and always looked comfortable walking in to a crowded room. She knew how to make her point and communicate her message as well as anyone.

Competitive Tennis

Before my high school years, I played competitive tennis and practiced every day in the hot Tucson sun. My friends and I would travel all around Arizona and Southern California playing in tournaments. During these years I was ranked pretty high in the region for tennis players under the age of 14.

Anyway, there was a big Southwestern Tennis Championship in Tucson and I was schedule to start the tournament off against the top 14 and under player from Colorado. I had heard about his fast serve and was pretty nervous the night before about the next day’s featured match.

I remember my mom coming in to my room with the tournament schedule and talking to me about my second round match. She brought in some newspaper clippings about the guy I’d be playing if I made it past this Colorado champion. She acted as though my first round victory was a done deal.

The confidence she showed in my ability to beat this guy allowed me to get a good night’s sleep and arrive at the tournament ready to go. It’s not what she said so much as how she handled the situation—how she showed her confidence with her body language, gestures and eyes– that had me focused about not just getting past the first round, but winning the damn tournament.

As things turned out, the Colorado player failed to show up for the tournament and so I was given the victory by default. I went on to win my next 3 or 4 matches and eventually make it to the finals. I lost in close sets to another local player and good friend of mine.

Looking back, I remember how little my mom said to communicate how much confidence she had in my ability. It wasn’t what she said. It was how she acted that counted.

High School Football

Going in to high school I wasn’t the biggest guy in the world but I did have decent speed and good eye-hand coordination from playing tennis from the age of 5. As a freshman, I knew I’d be playing the #1 position on the varsity tennis team (which I did) but didn’t really enjoy playing competitive tennis anymore. I was getting burned out on tennis and decided I wanted to give some other sports a try including football.

My friends and I all showed up for freshman football practice and ready to take on the world. I had never put on pads before and had never had to catch a pass over the middle while being hit by a linebacker literally twice my size. There were guys on my team that looked like grown men with huge muscles and beards. I had no business being out on the field with most of these guys but, because of the support and confidence my mom showed and had in me, I never gave this challenge a second thoughts.

I remember my mom always telling me that I was a smart kid with good skills. That if I used my head and anticipated where the play was going, I would always be one step ahead of everyone else. When I was black and blue and sore and starting to doubt myself before a Thursday afternoon or Friday night game, she always had all my equipment ready to go and communicated a “matter of fact” let’s make this happen type of confidence. I guess what I’m saying is that she always had my back.

I grew quite a bit my sophomore year and everything started coming together for me during practice and in the games. My mom’s nonverbal messages gave me confidence and because of her constant messages, I was able to enjoy high school football and play on a pretty good team my senior year. To this day I still stay in touch with some of the guys.

She communicated by being there for me and always lifting me up on her shoulders when I wasn’t sure I wanted to play anymore. Her method of communication was by example and support. It’s hard to put what she did in to words but then again, she didn’t need to. I always understood what she was trying to say.

When I made bad choices as a teenager, the expression on her face said it all. When I occasionally, despite myself, did something she thought was original or even amazing, the smile on her face made me want to do it all again.

Communication is Much More Than Words

What I learned from my mom is that being a good communicator doesn’t always mean having to use words to make your point. All you need to do is figure out what you want your message to be and then figure out the best way to share the message. Sure, words are one way to do this but leading by example and showing your support behind a project or person is another effective way to make your point and impact others.

Sometimes during trial when a hostile witness makes an absurd comment from the witness stand, I’ll simply turn to the jury, smile, and move on to my next question. The jury get its.

In all negotiations, regardless of the issues, I always try to come across as a lawyer who is prepared, confident and ready for business. It’s an attitude and sometimes even a slight swagger that is intended to communicate a calculated message.

You can follow my mom’s example and do the same thing. You too can make your point by letting your body language compliment what few words you have to say. It’s a dance. It’s an art. But anyone can do this so don’t be afraid to give it a try.

The next time you need to get your point across to someone about something, give some thought to how to do so before opening your mouth. To this day when I’m in trial and I’m trying to figure out how to make my next communication move, I’ll still ask myself, “how would mom go about making this particular point?”

People are listening and even more people are watching your every move. Take advantage of all the people who are listening with their eyes. Make your point by expression and example. Communicate in a way that builds confidence in others. Make someone else feel good about themselves. Doing so will almost always make an impact and doing so will help you communicate your special message.


Filed Under: Connecting, Inspiration, Persuasion, Sales, Visual, Voice Tagged With: ,

5 Pictures Can Be Worth 5,000 Words

May 5, 2013 by 1 Comment

In jury trials, we use pictures to help make an impact and drive home arguments. Doing so allows our jurors to make their own determination about what happened.

Outside the courtroom, you can do the same thing.

When I’m asked the question, “What type of law do you practice?”, I could respond with a long detailed explanation about jury trials, personal injury and wrongful death. Or, I could simply share the following pictures (larger pics here).

 

California Personal Injury and Wrongful Death Lawyers and Attorneys

Using pictures can be very powerful and effective. At times, also a bit fun.

The next time you need to make your point, consider doing so with a picture or two. Keep it simple. Your audience will “get it”.

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I’d like to thank fellow Brave New Year member, Mike Davenport, for putting together these wonderful stick figures.


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An Evening with Brian Solis

May 2, 2013 by Leave a Comment

brian sollis and mitch jackson social mediaLast night after Brian Solis spoke before Bryan Elliott’s LinkedOC group, Professor Niklas Myhr, Brian and I all had a chance to sit down, have a couple of cold beverages, and chat about social media and the future of business. We also talked about kids, family and what teenagers are really interested in. But for purposes of this short post, I’ll try and stay focused on social media and the future of business.

For me, Brian’s new book is a game changer. The title is “What’s The Future of Business”. Lisa and I are so moved by Brian’s message that we’re already in the process of implementing several of Brian’s ideas at the law firm to raise the bar relative to client experiences, transparency and relationships. It’s a challenging process that many firms will never take the time to do. But, based upon what we’ve already done and, the favorable client feedback we’re receiving, we know we’re on the right track.

Brian believes that to connect with the customer, you must listen, learn, engage and adapt. We agree.

Clients want information and they want it yesterday. They ask themselves, why should I have to wait? Why can’t I get this website to come up on my smartphone? What’s the problem?

As Brian mentioned from the stage last night, Henry Ford once said (and I’m paraphrasing) that if there is one secret to success, it lies in the ability to get the other persons point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as your own.

When communicating, wouldn’t it be a good idea to think about what message needs to be shared, and then communicate your message in a way that, understanding the other person’s point of view, is favorably received by the other person? Sure, this takes a bit more work but that’s OK. It’s truly worth the effort over the long-term.

Lisa and I have been helping clients for almost 3 decades. When we first started practicing law there was no internet. Fax machines were considered state-of-the-art. Communicating with clients meant picking up the phone or meeting and talking over lunch. During the process, we improved our people skills (no, you’re not born with them) and relationships and friendships were made. Deals got done.

Today, things are a bit different. Things are a bit more hectic and that’s OK.

There are literally thousands of different ways for all of us to communicate with each other. As Brian mentions, now more than ever, it’s important for all of us to get perspective in order to find clarity and meaning in our vision.

Embrace the goal of doing everything you can to make the experience of your customer or client exceptional. Provide value and build relationships. Care. Make it easy for your customer to connect and get their problems solved.

Be transparent in your message. Expect the customer or client to Google everything you say. Welcome this new process. Make it easy for the communication dance to take place. Knock down all the boundaries and hurdles that may have been erected over the years.

One last thought. During our little get together at the end of the evening, Niklas asked me the following question. It’s a question that every business or service provider needs to give thought to and most struggle with. The question was…

“Mitch, what’s your Mission Statement?”

What a great question. I had to think for a second or two. In Brian’s book he talks about how people are now brands and brands are people. He also shared a popular quote by Jeff Bezos of Amazon which is as follows, “Your brand is what people say about you when you’re not in the room”.
Understanding all of this and also please appreciate the fact that I’m not the brightest bulb in the lamp, my response was as follows…

“Niklas, you’re looking at it. I am my firm’s Mission Statement.”

In today’s fast paced and multitasking world, everything comes down to people and relationships. Focus on these two things using whatever tool, platform or approach that you like, and everything will be just fine. Engage and connect with your customers and make their experience unforgettable. Do this and the future of your business will be exciting and bright.


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Before Doing the Communication Dance, Learn All You Can about Your Future Partner’s Moves

April 29, 2013 by 2 Comments

Doing the Communication DanceDo you Tango or are you more of a breakdance kind of person? Does your future dance partner like to follow or lead? (click here to listen to the podcast version)

If you’re going to do the communication dance, why not walk out on the dance floor with the confidence and flare of Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire or maybe even Michael Jackson? They sure made dancing look easy. But here’s the deal, behind the scenes before they ever walked out on stage to perform before a live audience, they did their homework, prepared and practiced.

So what in the world does dancing have to do with communication? Well, before I answer that question, let me share a story that will help you choreograph your next presentation.

Dancing on the Telephone

Not too long ago I spent about 20 minutes on the phone talking with opposing counsel about our daughters running high school cross country. During the last couple of minutes, we also discussed and settled a large personal injury case. That was the purpose of our call but by design, it certainly wasn’t what I focused on.

During the call, we each enjoyed talking about our kids and by the friendly tone of our conversation, I know we both welcomed the opportunity to chat about things other than the facts of our case. After all, it’s just human nature to share common interests and passions. That’s what connects all of us.

But here’s the thing. The direction our conversation initially took—heck, even the start of our professional relationship, wasn’t simply a random event. It happened because when I first found out who opposing counsel was going to be, I took the time to learn her dance moves. I made an effort to find out if she enjoyed the foxtrot, waltz or even the country swing (what I grew up doing in Tucson, Arizona).

Our professional relationship and the final dance performance we shared over the phone happened because I cared enough about the process and my client to do all I could to learn what dance moves opposing counsel preferred and, once we got out on the dance floor, whether she liked to take the lead or follow.

Are You Researching the Other Person’s Dance Moves?

Think about this for a moment. Why do athletes and teams scout the opposition and watch film? Why do singers practice a song over and over before taking the stage in front of a live audience? Why do successful authors and bloggers pound out page after page of rough drafts before sharing their final work with the world?

They do this so they can get things right. They do this to present the best possible product available based upon their desired needs and available time. You only have one chance to win the game or wow your audience. You want to do everything you can to make sure this happens.

Make Smart Investments in Learning Your Partner’s Moves

In the above example, I spent some time on the other lawyer’s website and then on Google learning more about her. I INVESTED about 20-30 minutes learning more about this person and focused on looking for things we had in common. I wanted to know what her interests were and what passions she had. I wanted to know more about the other person and not so much the other lawyer. I wanted to find out and understand what dance she enjoyed and the last time she performed it.

I checked the major social media platforms and found pictures of her daughter running cross country for one of the local high schools. I also noticed she was already following me on Twitter (I wasn’t aware of this but will save this “twist” for another post).

My teenage daughter joked that I’m “creeping” when I do this. I guess that’s a phrase some teenagers use when one of them spies on someone else’s social media platforms.

That’s not what I’m doing. What I am trying to accomplish is to learn more about people who will make an impact on my life or my client’s life. In the case of practicing law, to learn all I can about the people who directly affect my case and have an influence on the results I get for my clients. The same people who help me pay for my teenage daughter’s monthly car and insurance payments. It’s all good and someday she’ll understand.

Back to My Dance with Opposing Counsel…

From our first interaction, I made a point to incorporate into our conversation the fact that I wanted to get out of the office early to watch my daughter run in a high school cross country meet (this wasn’t a line. I really did).

During subsequent conversations, I mentioned and we talked about several other hobbies and interests we apparently both shared. During our year of litigating together, I think we both honestly looked forward to chatting with each other because it wasn’t always about our case. Sure, we always took care of business but our conversations always seemed to migrate to another subject like running, high school cross country and yes, even lawyers using social media.

Look, when it comes to doing the communication dance, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being prepared and doing your homework. What’s the alternative? Leaving things up to random events and luck? Sure, some of us are pretty good on our feet and great at winging it but seriously, why take the chance? This is especially true if you’re representing someone who is counting on you to bring your dance moves to the negotiation table.

Don’t Fake It. Be Real and Get Prepared

Care about the other person’s interests. If you try and fake it you’ll end up stepping on his or her toes and nobody appreciates this.

My conversations with this lawyer and the various dances we did over the past year were honest and genuine. But truth be told, this probably only happened because one of us took the time to learn the other’s dance moves and then over time, genuinely incorporate these moves in to the ongoing dialog.

Maybe we would have eventually hit it off anyway. Maybe we would have eventually stumbled upon each other’s mutual interests. I don’t know. I’m glad I took the time to make sure it DID happen.

The day before this final telephone call took place which allowed me to seal the deal, I did a quick Google search on this lawyer and using the advanced search feature, narrowed it down to search results for just the past week. I learned that her daughter, who ran for a different school, had just done extremely well in a big meet.

That same week my daughter was running for her own high school in a high school cross country invitational in Hawaii and so we didn’t participate in the local event. Anyway, with this information in hand (and by the way, I was genuinely excited for how well opposing counsel’s daughter did), I started off the phone conversation talking about this exciting news. Eventually, she asked about my daughter and we chatted about how nice it must be to travel to Hawaii to run with a few other girls from her team while dad and mom stayed home working to pay the bills. We laughed, talked about sports and eventually towards the end of our conversation, settled the case.

Take Time to Learn the Other Person’s Dance Moves and Then Practice, Practice and Practice Some More

The take away from this post is, just like in sports and the arts, that it’s always a good idea to take the time to practice and do all you can to succeed in your negotiation and sales efforts. Take time to learn more about the other person. Do everything you can to maximize the opportunity to learn about each other’s interest and passions. Then, one step at a time, slowly and honestly incorporate them in to your communication dance.

Remember, when it comes to making a point or closing a deal, it’s not about you. It’s about developing rapport, helping the other person and providing him or her with a benefit. The same thing applies out on the dance floor. The better you make your partner look, the more fun you’ll have and the better you’ll both dance.

Understanding this concept and CARING ENOUGH about the deal or transaction to make time to research and practice your communication dance is what separates most successful communicators and deal makers with everyone who wishes they were successful.

So the next time you’ve got to put on your communication dance shoes, first take time to learn more about your future dance partner. Find out what makes them bounce up and down and gracefully glide across the dance floor. If you do, I promise your time will be well spent and the two of you will smile the next time you take hands and walk out on to the communication dance floor together.

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Note: When I first started practicing law and building my law firm practice, learning these kind of details about the other person was almost impossible to do. There was no Internet and Google, Facebook, Twitter and Linkedin were just a twinkle in someone’s eye. It was a hassle driving down to the library to do “research” and so most of us didn’t.

Today, you have access to more information on your desktop or smartphone than all the world leaders combined 20 years ago. Why not use this information to accelerate the relationship building process and to be more successful in business and in your communication efforts.

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Mitch Jackson has been a trial lawyer for 27 years and is a 2013 California Litigation Lawyer of the Year (CLAY Award) and 2009 Orange County Trial Lawyer of the Year. When he’s not trying cases, Mitch uses social media to help attorneys become better trial lawyers and to show everyone (not just lawyers) how to communicate more effectively. His law firm website is JacksonandWilson.com and his communication tips blog is MitchJackson.com


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Successfully Negotiating and Closing a Deal is Similar to Serving an Exquisite 5 Course Dinner. You must let the process happen one course at a time…

April 21, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Communication and Negotiation is Like a 5 Course MealGood friends, stimulating conversation and excellent food. It’s going to be a fun evening. The experience is one that can’t be rushed nor should it be. It’s a process that by its nature, takes time. [click here to listen to the podcast version of this post]

You start out with a hot cup of soup and finish with a very special dessert. Each course builds upon the last. There’s a good reason why you don’t start with the last course first.

Closing a deal is a very similar experience. Go about things the right way and the negotiation will flow naturally and the deal will be one to remember. Skip a course or two and the other person just might get up and leave the communication table before the evening is over.

Start with the setting

You don’t serve a 5 course dinner on the lids of garbage cans in an alley behind the restaurant. Along those same lines, don’t try to negotiate an important deal over day old coffee in the parking lot of Wal-Mart while wearing a stained t-shirt.

Make sure that you’ve thought things through and have properly set your communication table—the place you’ll be serving your verbal meal– in a suitable fashion and location. Have your ducks in a row and remember to place your napkin in your lap, serve from the left, and clear from the right. Do what needs to be done to help ensure your surroundings are conducive to a meaningful discussion and presentation.

Now for the first course…

Start with something memorable. Tonight, we’ll be starting with essence of butternut squash, presented with a seared sea scallop, chive oil and young seedlings. Is your mouth starting to water? Mine is!

After a bit of small talk and building rapport, get immediate focus and attention by raising the problem or issue during the first course. What is the need of the person you’re making your pitch to? Get this crystal clear in your mind before you walk in to the room and sit down at the communication table. Put the problem up on the table and push it across directly in front of your guest.

Tip- Talk about the problem.

The second course

For your second course, we’ll be serving pan seared lump crab cake, presented with fire roasted corn and cilantro relish smoked chipotle aioli and butter poached leeks. While you enjoy this course and start to get in the mood for the main entre, spend some quality time talking in more detail about it the problem or issue. Discuss what bad things will happen if changes are not made. What are the short and long-term consequences of action or inaction? What will happen if things don’t get resolved and continue to drag on day after day and even year after year?

Tip- Discuss the short and long-term impact of the problem.

The third course

What better than to follow the crab cakes with a dish of roasted beet carpaccio, presented with seared goat cheese, beet syrup, aged balsamic reduction and mache greens. Do this correctly and your guest is already interested in what the next course will be.

You’ve got his attention. He knows why he’s sitting at the table and understands that action is needed or things will just get worse. Now is the time to show your guest how your idea will solve his problems. Working your way from the outside in, your utensils should include specific examples, metaphors and stories.

If you make a mistake or skip a beat, no big deal. Use the napkin on your lap to wipe your mouth and continue. Sometimes food will drip from your spoon or fall off your fork. That’s life and it’s OK. The secret is to clean things up and always move forward to the next course.

Tip- For the first time, reveal your specific solution to the specific problem of your guest.

The fourth course

Now that you’ve shared your solutions in the third course, knock your guest right off his chair with a fourth course consisting of something a bit more substantial. Let’s go with grilled fillet of beef, presented with caramelized shallot/red wine reduction, crisp truffle scented potato rosti, white asparagus and morel mushrooms. It might also be time to order another bottle of wine.

This course is all about substance and value. Show the other person exactly how your suggested solution will benefit him. Understanding that facts tell but stories sell, use the right utensils (words, pictures, testimonials, videos…) to continue showing your dinner guest how your product, service or idea will benefit and help him. Communicating and share major value and specific benefits, through stories and examples, are what the fourth course is all about.

Tip- Communicate the major benefits of your solution to your dinner guest.

The fifth and most important course

You’ve just spent the last 2-3 hours enjoying 4 wonderful and succulent courses. Now it’s time to wrap things up. What should you serve and how should you serve it?

Before I share our last dish, let me ask you a question. How many time have you gone out for a nice dinner only to have the evening end on an awkward note because the waiter just dropped off the tab and you’re not sure who should pick it up? There’s a moment of silence and what happens next can, for many different reasons, can make or break the evening.

You need to avoid this blunder. So to help us do so, we’re going to wrap up the evening with a vanilla bean infused panna cotta Nova Scotia ice wine marinated berries and chocolate lattice. Sounds tasty doesn’t it?

Just like we finished up our 5 course meal with a very special dessert, in negotiation and sales, you also need to make sure you have a clear end game. Understand exactly how you want and need to have the meeting end.

You do this by always making sure you close. You need to ask for the deal or get the contract signed. Just as important as making arrangements before the meal to have the check delivered to you and not your guest, at the communication table, you need to plan ahead and do the same thing. You need to do what needs to be done allowing you to get up and walk away with the deal signed and sealed in your back pocket. Close the deal and get the contract signed or your customer may be the dinner guest of someone else tomorrow evening.

By taking your time and serving one course after another, you’ve created the perfect 5 course dinner. Not only will you leave the table happy and content, you’ll also walk away with more than a few after dinner mints in your pocket. You’ll also have a new customer and signed deal.


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WHAT’S THE WHITE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM? 6 Steps To Building Trust When Selecting a Jury or Closing a Deal

April 14, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Good Trial Lawyers Talk About The White Elephant in the RoomI’ll be picking a jury a week from Monday in a difficult and tragic wrongful death case. I approach jury selection as a chance for me to get to know the people who will ultimately serve on my jury and to try and figure out if they will be a good fit for my case. I want to make sure that after hearing all the evidence, they’ll try to render a fair and impartial verdict in our case.

So how do I pick my juries and what can you take away from this process? (click here to listen to the podcast version of this post on Stitcher)

Well, one of the first things I do is to try and figure out what’s going to be the white elephant in the room. Will I be dealing with a single large white elephant or an entire herd of elephants?

I do this because the fact is, it’s getting harder and harder for people to connect with other people. Sure, technology makes it easier for all of us to interact but truth be told, the attention span of today’s audience (my jury and your sales prospect) is only about 9 seconds—less than the attention span of a goldfish.

The point is that you have a very short window of opportunity to gain someone’s trust. You simply can’t say or do something that’s going to interrupt the process. You need to gain trust as quickly as possible and if you avoid the white elephant in the room, everyone will know it.

There’s probably no more difficult of a place to gain trust than in a courtroom with 12 random jurors who, prior to trial, you’ve never met. I guess what I’m saying is that in light of the above, if these 6 steps work for me in court, they’ll most certainty work for you during your next presentation.

But first, I’d like to share the following…

The Elephant In The Room
By Terry Kettering

There’s an elephant in the room.
It is large and squatting, so it is hard to get around it.
Yet we squeeze by with “How are you?” and “I’m fine…
And a thousand other forms of trivial chatter.
We talk about the weather.
We talk about work.
We talk about everything else…
Except the elephant in the room.
We all know it is there.
We are thinking about the elephant as we talk together.
It is constantly on our minds.
For, you see, it is a very big elephant.
It has hurt us all.
But we do not talk about the elephant in the room.
Oh, please, say her name.
Oh, please, say “Barbara” again.
Oh, please, let’s talk about the elephant in the room.
For if we talk about her death,
Perhaps we can talk about her life.
Can I say “Barbara” to you and not have you look away:
For if I cannot,
then you are leaving me alone…
in a room…
with an elephant

 

The Gerry Spence Approach

Many years ago I learned 6 steps to selecting a jury from legendary trial lawyer, Gerry Spence. He showed me how to deal with the white elephant in the room. You can use these same steps to make a presentation, select a sales team or close a deal. I hope you find these steps useful.

But before we get started, I want you to understand and appreciate this critical point…

You need to be in the moment when going through these steps.

When talking about and dealing with the white elephant, rather than worrying about what happens next (my verdict or your customer purchasing your product), embrace this particular moment in an honest and transparent way. Genuinely listen and interact during each of these 6 steps. Do this and good things will happen.

Step 1

Figure out what the challenging issues are. What exactly is the white elephant in the room?

In a civil lawsuit, it might be the issue of tort reform or a jury’s reluctance to award large money damages. In a criminal case, it could be the race or social background of your client. Everybody in the courtroom knows what everyone else is probably thinking but nobody is talking about it. Understand this reality and figure out what the white elephant is and you’re one step ahead of everyone else.

In the computer software business, this issue may be the high initial expense to the customer purchasing your product or, additional infrastructure upgrades and training needed to run the more powerful software.

Regardless of who you are and what you’re doing, these issues are not difficult to figure out. You already know what they are. You just have to be brave enough to listen to yourself and internalize them. You need to pay attention to what you’re thinking about and feeling. These are the things you need to eventually discuss with the other person or audience. It’s not always easy but it is always necessary.

Step 2

Give serious thought and reflection to the white elephant. Figure out how these issues make you feel and why.

In my trials, I try and figure out what issue, for whatever reason, will be controversial or may hurt us and I make an effort to grasp exactly how that makes me feel. What makes me uncomfortable about my case or the process? What might make one or more of my jurors uncomfortable? Only by going through this process am I able to understand and appreciate how the same or similar issue might make my jurors feel.

In a sales situation, a high initial purchase price might make a customer think twice before buying your product. Give some thought as to why he might feel that way. Is it truly a money thing or is it really a “don’t rock the boat” with company policy kind of thing? Deep inside your core, explore and internalize the issues behind the how and behind the why. Invite and explore your feelings. Open your mind and heart to understand.

Only after you’ve considered and internalized steps 1 and 2 do you move to step 3.

Step 3

Open up a bag of peanuts and coax the white elephant out in to the open. Share your feelings with the other person.

When selecting my jury, I’m very open about how and why I feel the way I do about certain issues. Sometimes I’m a bit embarrassed for doing so but, by being transparent, I’m being real. By being genuine I’m showing my jury that’s it’s OK to be honest and open and to share our thoughts, concerns and even fears with each other. It’s about leading by example and starting a real and honest dialog. It allows us to get to know each other. It begins the trust process.

We talk about the white elephant in the room. I’m open and up front about money damages or any other sensitive issue. I keep the conversation simple and human. No big words or fancy legal terms. Just having an honest discussion with my jury. I want them to express their feelings on the subject. I want to talk about it (which is much different than lecturing someone about how they should feel about something).

In sales, you to should share your feelings. Talk about the issues and challenges you’ve developed in the first two steps. Your prospect isn’t going to be ready for your honesty. And that’s what makes you and your approach special.

Step 4

Ask the other person to pull out a peanut and feed the white elephant. Ask him to share his feelings and talk about the white elephant.

I might ask my jurors, “Am I the only one who feels this way?” I put myself out there. Sometimes it takes a while but eventually a juror will raise her hand and we’ll start talking about the issue or what we’re both afraid of. She may not use the words, “I’m afraid” but the fact is, we’re talking about the white elephant in the room.

It’s real, raw and genuine. It’s something many people are not use to seeing from a lawyer. Once the first juror becomes engaged, others will always follow.

In sales, you can do the same thing. Invite the other person or audience to interact with you about their feelings. Maybe something like, “spending this much money on our software has got to be a bit nerve racking. Initially, I’m not sure I’d be comfortable doing this. Am I the only one who feels this way?” Once you get people to start talking openly and honestly, magic happens.

In jury trials, I trust jurors who engage in this kind of conversation. There’s a bond that is formed based upon the fact that we’re all here for the same reason. We all want to do the right thing. But before we do, we need to get to know the “truth” about the other.

Step 5

Accept and place value on what the jury tells you about the white elephant.

Once you open yourself up to this kind of conversation, you are going to hear things that will disturb you, bother you, and even hurt your feelings. The white elephant is going to step on your toes. But that’s OK. That’s the point. Keep moving forward.

Continue the conversation and be real. Share your peanuts and discuss but never lecture.

In trial, there’s a huge advantage to getting opinions and issues out in the open during jury selection and before the trial starts. Finding out how someone negatively feels about the white elephant in the room only after you give your closing argument and the jury retires to the deliberation room is way too late in the game. By then, there’s nothing you can do.

In sales, you need to know what’s really on the mind of your prospect before he goes back to his CEO to make a recommendation. Like I do in trial, you may only have one shot of closing the deal. Using this approach will help you maximize your chances of at least doing so on a level playing field.

Step 6

Hop up on the back of the white elephant and continue sharing your thoughts and feelings.

Now that you’ve got people talking and being honest with each other, go with the flow. Embrace the conversation and be engaged. Ask open-ended questions and listen much more than you talk. Use your body language to tell your jury that it’s OK for them to say what they’re saying and to feel how they’re feeling. Ask for a show of hands or a group “yes” or “no”.

Look, I’m not standing before my potential jurors trying to hide anything. If I’m afraid or concerned about something, I want them to know. It’s a trust thing. Jurors will take care of you and your client if they know you are being straight with them and empower them to help you. They’ll respect you for not bullshitting them. It’s a simple concept that frankly, most people just don’t get, understand or appreciate.

Creating an honest and trustworthy relationship with your jurors is what a trial is all about. Acknowledging the white elephant in the room, sharing peanuts and giving it a big group hug builds trust and bonds me with my jury. Make sure to bring your bag of peanuts to your next presentation. Understanding and talking about the white elephant in the room will help you too!

__________
Mitch Jackson has been a trial lawyer for 27 years and is a 2013 California Litigation Lawyer of the Year (CLAY Award) and 2009 Orange County Trial Lawyer of the Year. When he’s not trying cases, Mitch uses social media to help attorneys become better trial lawyers and to show everyone (not just lawyers) how to communicate more effectively and make an impact. His firm website is JacksonandWilson.com


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HOW WE NEGOTIATE MILLION DOLLAR CASES FOR OUR CLIENTS- 10 Tips to Help You Close Your Next Deal!

April 8, 2013 by Leave a Comment

how to negotiate podast by mitch jackson and lisa wilsonMost of us are involved in some type of negotiation each day. Whether you’re interacting with your family or closing a business deal, having the proper negotiation skills can reduce stress and increase your chances of getting the results you truly desire.

Grab a pen, listen to the podcast, and learn our 27 years of negotiation dance moves in the next 20 minutes.

 

By the way, want independent confirmation that these negotiation methods work? Well, here are just a few “real life” examples of difficult negotiated cases we’ve handled over the years. In each instance all 10 tips were followed..

Wrongful death case involving two teens. Negotiated settlement went from $100,000 to $1,000,000 after 3 negotiations sessions.

First Party Insurance Bad Faith: My partner, Lisa Wilson, used these techniques to help move a settlement from $30,000 to $3,347,000.00.

Murder defendant agrees to pay $5,000,000.00 to our client while denying all criminal charges.

Man who caused serious motorcycle accident resulting in our client losing his leg $2,000,000.

Wrongful death trial verdict negotiated and settled during a long (and uncertain) appeal process. Defendants’ said they’ll never pay the verdict. Using these methods, a negotiated settlement of $3,500,000 was reached utilizing two different mediators, and a very good appellate lawyer.

Motorcycle accident settlement: Teenage defendant driver said “I’m not at fault.” Negotiated settlement of $1,250,000.

Wrongful Death Case: Initial settlement offer was zero. After 3 negotiation sessions using these techniques and just prior to trial- $1,000,000 settlement.

The point I’m trying to make is that these 10 negotiation steps will work for anyone regardless of your business or occupation. You just have to understand the concepts, practice, and then put them to use. You also need to learn how to “deliver” your message (hint- see other communication tips at this site). If you like, feel free to read even more negotiated results here…


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